News
Starmer Sets Up Commission To Respond To Attempted Beheading UPDATE: The Commission Has Been Beheaded
56+ min ago (33+ words) LONDON " According to sources, Prime Minister Keir Starmer set up a commission to discern how best to respond to the attempted beheading in Belfast. UPDATE: The members of the commission have been beheaded....
King Solomon Admits He May Have Plagiarized "Nothing New Under The Sun
3+ hour, 2+ min ago (37+ words) JERUSALEM " As he observed the temple scribes hard at work making official copies of the book of Ecclesiastes, King Solomon reportedly admitted that he may have plagiarized the bit about there being nothing new under the sun....
What Is A World Cup?" Googles America
4+ hour, 7+ min ago (35+ words) U. S. " As the highly anticipated soccer matches prepared to kick off in cities throughout the country, millions of Americans got ready for the occasion by sitting down and Googling "What is a World Cup?"...
World Cup Stadium Empty As European Tourists All Just Hanging Out At Buc-ee's
23+ hour, 47+ min ago (39+ words) U. S. " As the first World Cup matches were set to get underway this week, the stadiums were completely devoid of fans as all the people who traveled to America for the tournament were hanging out at Buc-ee's....
EMTs To Be Stationed Near Spurs Bench Next Game To Prevent Choking
1+ day, 1+ hour ago (30+ words) SAN ANTONIO, TX " For the health and safety of the team's players, the San Antonio Spurs will be stationing EMTs near its bench at all future games to prevent choking....
Trump Sets New World Record By Winning War With Iran 27 Times In One Year
1+ day, 1+ hour ago (32+ words) WASHINGTON, D. C. " President Donald Trump set a new world record this week by winning the same war with Iran for the 27th time this year, shattering the previous record of one....
Elon Musk Confirms He Will Soon Have Enough Money To Become Batman
1+ day, 57+ min ago (30+ words) AUSTIN, TX " As the richest man in the world approaches a net worth of $1 trillion, Musk confirmed that he would soon have enough money to officially become the Batman....
Obama Says If He Had A Son Who Stabbed Someone In The Heart With A Knife, He Would Look Just Like Karmelo Anthony
2+ day, 2+ hour ago (51+ words) WASHINGTON, D. C. " As racial tensions continued to rise in the wake of the verdict handed down in the Austin Metcalf murder trial, a somber former President Barack Obama said if he had a son who stabbed someone in the heart with…...
Karmelo Kicking Himself For Not Converting To Islam And Stabbing Someone In The UK Instead
2+ day, 23+ hour ago (37+ words) MCKINNEY, TX " Nineteen-year-old convicted murderer Karmelo Anthony, in his first public comments since being found guilty of first-degree murder, expressed regret that he didn't convert to Islam and stab someone in the UK instead....
Nation Shocked As Jury Rules You Cannot Stab Someone In The Heart For No Reason At All
3+ day, 1+ hour ago (0+ words) ...