15+ hour, 57+ min ago  (149+ words) SAN FRANCISCO, CA " The San Francisco Giants unveiled their new City Connect jerseys today with a nod to the feces makes the city so unique. Fans have embraced the new jerseys, which appear to essentially be a heavy cotton poop…...

16+ hour, 45+ min ago  (161+ words) If you haven't heard, Canada has officially dropped a new acronym for the LGBT movement with many, many new additions. The LGBT community in Canada is now: It's quite the mouthful, so to get you up to speed, here are…...

18+ hour ago  (207+ words) JERUSALEM " After definitively declaring that he would not believe in Jesus' resurrection unless he saw and touched him, the Apostle Thomas was completely humiliated to learn that Jesus was right behind him the whole time. "I'm just saying, we need…...

20+ hour, 26+ min ago  (206+ words) CHARLESTON, SC " After returning from the frontlines of the war in Iran, a local drone has found itself struggling to adapt back to a civilian life of delivering Amazon packages. Like so many soldiers before, the drone has felt a…...

20+ hour, 7+ min ago  (197+ words) Iranian leaders finally admitted they could not even speak English and were simply nodding along in agreement whenever Marco Rubio said something. "Our translator was sick that day," said Iranian envoy Mohamad Muhamed. "Honest misunderstanding." However, in spite of reassurances…...

20+ hour, 17+ min ago  (185+ words) This is it. President Trump has crossed a line with his latest statement. We can't just talk " we need to take action! And I know I've said this 1, 347 times before, but it is for real this time. There is no…...

1+ day, 16+ hour ago  (189+ words) MIDDLE EAST " The nations of the Middle East celebrated the announcement of a ceasefire with an massive fireworks display that lit up the entire region. Rockets flashed across the sky, heading every direction, in a beautiful commemoration of the end…...

1+ day, 18+ hour ago  (411+ words) U. S. " Sporting apparel giant Nike has released a new ad campaign alongside Tiger Woods, featuring the slightly updated slogan "Just Use Your Billion Dollars To Hire A Full-Time Driver". Nike Releases New Tiger Woods Ad Campaign 'Just Use Your Billion Dollars…...

1+ day, 19+ hour ago  (213+ words) NINTH CIRCLE OF HELL " Satan announced Wednesday that all its appliances going forward will be controlled by the Apple TV Remote. "Today, Hell is finally at the forefront of modern technology and " where did I put that thing," said Satan,…...

1+ day, 20+ hour ago  (698+ words) WASHINGTON, D. C. " The political world was set on edge once again on Wednesday, with experts urging everyone to prepare for the worst as President Donald Trump threatened to nuke a local used car dealership unless it agreed to come down another…...