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News

The Babylon Bee
babylonbee.com > news > local-dad-clearly-using-his-kids-as-excuse-to-ride-go-karts

Local Dad Clearly Using His Kids As Excuse To Ride Go-Karts

18+ hour, 18+ min ago   (25+ words) FORT WORTH, TX — Bystanders at Andretti Karting reported that local dad Mark Hamilton was clearly just using his children as an excuse to ride go-karts....

The Babylon Bee
babylonbee.com > news > girl-scouts-to-award-muslim-badge-to-any-girl-who-gets-married-before-age-8

Girl Scouts To Award Muslim Badge To Any Girl Who Gets Married Before Age 8

2+ week, 3+ day ago   (33+ words) U.S. — The Girl Scouts of America, in cooperation with the Islamic Center of America in Dearborn, MI, unveiled a new Muslim badge girls could earn by getting married before the age of 8....

The Babylon Bee
babylonbee.com > news > trump-officially-classifies-liberal-women-as-terrorist-organization

Trump Officially Classifies Liberal Women As Terrorist Organization

2+ week, 4+ day ago   (26+ words) WASHINGTON, D.C. — In remarks delivered from the Oval Office on Tuesday, President Donald Trump announced that he had officially classified liberal women as a terrorist organization....

The Babylon Bee
babylonbee.com > news > trump-threatens-military-action-to-take-control-of-canadas-maple-syrup-supply

Trump Threatens Military Action To Take Control Of Canada's Maple Syrup Supply

2+ week, 5+ day ago   (27+ words) WASHINGTON, D.C. — With tensions rising over an ongoing trade dispute, President Donald Trump threatened to send in the military to seize control of Canada's maple syrup supply....

The Babylon Bee
babylonbee.com > news > new-data-center-built-to-handle-influx-of-online-rants-against-data-centers

New Data Center Built To Handle Influx Of Online Rants Against Data Centers

2+ week, 5+ day ago   (26+ words) LANCASTER, PA — Local officials confirmed on Monday that a new data center had been constructed to handle the massive influx of online rants about data centers....

The Babylon Bee
babylonbee.com > news > congress-assures-american-people-40-trillion-debt-can-be-fixed-by-spending-more-money

Congress Assures American People $40 Trillion Debt Can Be Fixed By Spending More Money

3+ week, 1+ day ago   (30+ words) WASHINGTON, D.C. — Though the U.S. national debt officially surpassed $40 trillion this week, Congress was quick to assure Americans that the issue could be easily fixed by spending more money....

The Babylon Bee
babylonbee.com > news > top-10-reasons-to-move-to-alabama

Top 10 Reasons To Move To Alabama

3+ week, 2+ day ago   (20+ words) Nestled in the heart of the South, there's a reason America's 22nd state is called "Sweet Home Alabama."...

The Babylon Bee
babylonbee.com > news > trump-claims-strait-of-hormuz-for-us-unveils-floating-golf-course

Trump Claims Strait Of Hormuz For U.S., Unveils Floating Golf Course

3+ week, 4+ day ago   (30+ words) WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump announced on Tuesday that after declaring the Strait of Hormuz an official U.S. territory, it had immediately been filled by a floating Trump golf course....

The Babylon Bee
babylonbee.com > news > c-from-coexist-sticker-arrested-for-running-over-other-letters-with-a-truck

‘C' From ‘Coexist’ Sticker Arrested For Running Over Other Letters With A Truck

4+ week, 1+ day ago   (37+ words) NEW YORK, NY — A portion of downtown New York was closed on Friday after the "C" from the now famous "COEXIST" bumper sticker reportedly ran over the other letters with a U-Haul truck....

The Babylon Bee
babylonbee.com > news > candace-if-you-dont-count-the-video-dna-murder-weapon-ballistics-motive-text-messages-and-multiple-confessions-there-is-zero-evidence-against-tyler-robinson

Candace: 'If You Don't Count The Video, DNA, Murder Weapon, Ballistics, Motive, Text Messages, And Multiple Confessions, There Is ZERO Evidence Against Tyler Robinson"

4+ week, 1+ day ago   (45+ words) U.S. — Candace Owens completely dismantled the state's case against Tyler Robinson during a podcast episode on Monday, pointing out that if you don't count the video, DNA, murder weapon, ballistics, motive, text messages, and multiple confessions, then there is zero evidence…...